Trauma Informed Care: Why Will Smith's Story matters so much more than what they think
April 19, 2022
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Let’s begin today’s story.
What is Trauma?
Most of the time when I get to see people, patients / clients, is near the end of their rope, when they’re hanging on for their last threads of hope. I’d rather prevent calamity, or cyclical trauma wouldn’t you?
Okay… so what is trauma?
Let’s take a look inside the dictionary. 👀 🔎
Trauma - a deeply distressing or disturbing experience; a physical injury
Trauma affects the whole body in a holistic way. In the clinical emergency medical world, “trauma” is thought of as a bodily injury like a wound, car wreck, etc. In the social work and psychology world, “trauma” is thought of more as the actual event that causes longstanding and systemic effects for someone’s psyche. In reality, everything affects everything. Trauma leaves impressions on all sides of our multifaceted metaphorical die of health. Trauma impacts our mental health, emotional health, psychology & social perspectives that shape our personal conscious and social health, then we still have the financial impacts of trauma too. And that’s only to name a few of the impacts trauma can leave.
Now, out of sincere empathy, I decided to think critically about the Will Smith and Chris Rock incident to ask WHY, HOW?
My conclusion, was trauma.
As I began to shape and sculpt this idea out in the public zeitgeist … I was shocked to hear such flagrant calls denouncing one party or another. By the time I read through the comments I had people saying Chris should go to jail for his comment, others said Will should be convicted for assault. Only a few had much to say about Jada or the open-marriage contentions within the family dynamic itself.
But, the one thing I found was that no one was thinking about “what can this teach me about humanity, about how humans interact, and how might we rethink how this even happened in the first place?” I mean… that’s what I was thinking, but no one seemed to see where I was coming from. Thus, the trolling came my way.
I’m not apologizing for anyone, taking sides, or even suggesting what actions should have been taken instead, all I’m doing is asking… WHY, HOW?
By doing so, it helps us call forth a perspective of prevention and health promotion.
Unfortunately, humans in America are typically pretty bad at thinking about prevention. We wait until calamity before we rethink the steps we took to get here.
Usually two things happen: the standard medical system red flags their health as so critical that they require a doctor’s order for another health professional to step in and help this person improve their health OR the person has finally reached the brink of desperation and is in dire need of help.
Humans today don’t often think ahead. They don’t prioritize prevention.
Most don’t look upstream, and even fewer swim upstream to figure out – WHY or HOW?
“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it,
- Spanish philosopher George Santayana
Vast majority of our modern-day health problems are inherently related to diet and lifestyle decisions we make on a regular basis – the regular habits that make up the ebbs and flows of our week-to-week experiences.
But far too often we’re moving too fast, distracted by the NEXT thing, the NEXT deadline, the NEXT round of significant needs for our time and our attention. We don’t get to sit and think, reflect and redesign our lives early and often in order to successfully prevent problems from occurring in the first place. There’s even still so much we can do when it comes to early treatment too. We tend to instead wait until we’re sick to decide to think about our health.
Let me tell you something I’m learning more and more in my life and work as it relates to the infinite connections between Mind+Body+Spirit.
You see, what I’m realizing is that much our adult lives are chosen within a narrow window of thought for individuals, based upon their limited worldview, personal perspectives about themselves and the world around them. Because we isolate ourselves from others, we forget to grow, to remain open minded, and to keep on learning and adapting along the way of life... we end up cornered in a shadowy space that becomes increasingly fragile and cramped.
As someone who tends to see patterns and connect the dots, I’ve come to see just how important childhood experiences can be to better understand someone’s adult nature and personality, the internalized emotions, and hidden thoughts they hold that inevitably impact their decisions and behaviors.
How someone forms a SELF in their childhood presents lifelong impacts for the direction of their dreams, their beliefs, and what they will achieve.
I hear things from different people like,
“My mom always talked about how skinny I was or how she wished she could be my size.”
“Dad was always upset and frustrated during dinner. We hated it as kids. Eating meals together was not a fun event. As soon as we were old enough to make our own decisions, I think we all just ended up deciding to all eat by ourselves in our own rooms instead of dealing with dad. I never really thought about that until just now.”
Obviously, the way we are raised as kids has a lasting impact on our lives as adults.
What is Trauma Informed Care?
Awareness is key. Understanding is next.
Empathy is an amazing need we cannot ignore.
Trauma Informed Care is an organizational structure and treatment framework that involves understanding, recognizing, and responding to the effects of all types of trauma. People who have been traumatized need support and understanding from those around them. - traumainformedcareproject.org
See what I mean? We need empathy to be brought to the table. We need understanding and awareness about the whole issue before we leap to grave polarities and miss the chance we have to learn, grow, and strengthen our ties of a society.
Then What?!
A couple weeks had past and more public debate had been seen. More actions and punishments had been taken. Still, I decided not to jump into the waters because, well… what benefit would it have for me? I’m fighting for empathy and love, but why should I waste my time online discussing the issue when no one seems to understand via 280 characters on twitter or misconducted facebook rants by others.
Then, I found a fascinating link to an article shared by a connection I have on LinkedIn. I’ll share it here for you to read.
Will Smith's Slap Is a Trauma Response
– Psychiatrist Melissa Hankins, MD, analyzes the psychology behind the Hollywood star's outburst
I decided to dive in and give it a read.
In it, Dr. Hankins lays it all out nice and tidy for us to understand. She does a phenomenal job articulating what I was juggling in my head all along for the last few weeks of the incident. “People are missing the bigger picture,” I thought.
Here’s some context from Dr. Hankins:
“What we witnessed Will Smith do in assaulting Chris Rock during the Academy Awards ceremony was a trauma response.
While I am in no way condoning violence, this is a very public and important opportunity for us to understand what a trauma response can look like.
A trauma response can take many forms and look like:
Slapping someone for saying "the wrong" thing
Yelling at someone for not doing something "fast enough" or that is not "up to your standards"
Avoiding or not responding to a boss's emails about scheduling an upcoming performance review
"Having to" do everything "perfectly," since otherwise you feel anxious or unsettled
Not setting boundaries around your time and energy because you're worried about confrontation and upsetting another person
Working endless hours without taking time for yourself or the things and people you enjoy because your job is your primary source and measure of your self-worth and value
“When this happens, the person experiencing this re-activation is split-second processing (on a subconscious or unconscious level) the current event through the filter of that past trauma. This means the person is, for all meaningful purposes, experiencing things as if right back in the previous circumstance of trauma. As a result, the person is reacting (i.e., taking action) -- emotionally, physically, and/or verbally -- from that place of trauma.
Those past traumas can be diverse and range from:
Witnessing a parent being physically or verbally abused during your childhood
You, yourself, experiencing physical, sexual, or verbal abuse in your childhood or adulthood
Experiencing emotional abuse or neglect as a child
Being harshly reprimanded (including being spoken to with an angry tone and demeanor) or shamed by others for not doing a task "the right way" or not "well enough"
Being told (and, perhaps, punished) as a child by an adult caregiver that it's not polite or acceptable to say "No" when an adult tells you to do something (including getting hugs from relatives or being made to attend events despite your objections)
Being called out by a teacher in front of the class for having the wrong answer and feeling embarrassment and shame
“In the case of Smith, he detailed in his 2021 autobiography, Will, that he witnessed physical violence at home as a child.
He wrote: ‘When I was nine years old, I watched my father punch my mother in the side of the head so hard that she collapsed. I saw her spit blood. That moment in that bedroom, probably more than any other moment in my life, has defined who I am.’
‘Within everything that I have done since then -- the awards and accolades, the spotlights and attention, the characters and the laughs -- there has been a subtle string of apologies to my mother for my inaction that day. For failing her at the moment. For failing to stand up to my father. For being a coward.’“
Connecting the Dots for Deeper Understanding
Wow, so there you have it folks. Connect the dots and what do you get?
Melissa goes on to declare what deeper hope she has for all of us, which I also share.
“My further hope is that if anyone reading this finds they are stuck in patterns of extreme reaction -- or even less severe reactions, but that are getting in the way of living life the way you really want -- please consider getting trauma-informed support.
I'm not suggesting any of us go unearthing swaths of past trauma. But simply be aware that it may be impacting you in ways you recognize and have yet to address, or in ways you never quite thought of as being associated with trauma.
And, if needed, allow yourself to get the support you need by working with a trauma-informed therapist, trauma-informed coach, or other trauma-informed specialist.”
So what do you think? Did this event come across your news airways?
What perspective or opinion did you take and what ideas might you hold now?
I’d be curious to know.
As always, I appreciate your support as I build out more features and opportunities to push forth public discourse and educational awareness about all things health and wellness that impact our humanity.
Have a wonderful rest of your week. Indulge in a bit more Empathy if you can.
- Much Love, Jonathan
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If you like to hang out online, come find me and say hello! 😁
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