Our Purpose and the Problems We Never Get to Talk About + The Future
October 4, 2021
Each Week whenever I sit down to write to you, I think about a few things.
“What message does so and so want to hear this this week?
“What message does Sally, Jim, or Sue need to hear this week?
“What message needs to be said that isn’t getting talked about enough?
“What message can I bring to readers that actually provides solid value, adds benefit to their lives and will help lead them in a healthier, more natural, better direction for their lives?
Many times, I will sit (or stand) at my desk and imagine you sitting there with me, as we have a conversation back and forth. Now sure about you, but I sure like conversations more than I do monologues. Personally, I’d like to have a two-way conversation more than just have a one way speech. I love sharing content, providing education and understanding in the space of health and wellness, personal development, and Real Talk (for lack of a better term) about society and systems today that make up our everyday colure.
Recently, I’ve had a few gently jostled awakenings from the inside of my soul over the last few weeks. Thankfully, I have a couple good friends who have helped me figure out what I can do to listen and learn from this speed bump in my path… and here’s the beautiful thing about it, is that most of our speed bumps in our lives.. they can actually be used as ramps to help us take flight onto higher planes of impact and potential progress in this world if we give them the chance to serve us instead of swerve us.
If you’re new here – WELOME – if you’re reading but not yet subscribed, I encourage you to do so. I’ll also share my other social channels down below for more connection and conversation.
I’m so glad you’re here, and I’m truly grateful for your time. I’d like to tell you a secret that only a few people know so far later on in this newsletter so stay tuned.
Today’s writings will look at ideas around perfectionism, stress, purpose, truth and impact.. and I’ll share a few recent podcasts I’ve been listening to at the end for additional resources you can check out this week in your downtime (aka the “nourish me time” I hope you are able to prioritize)
So let’s go ahead and jump back in..
Speed Bumps.
They can be begrudging roadblocks or they can be launching pads to help us better reflect on our lives and take better aim of where we want to fly to next.
I’m a perfectionist. Chances are, you might be too.
We live in a culture today that kind of pounds this into our minds and hearts from the times of our childhood that we have to perfect, or else we’re worthless. But in reality, that’s a worthless piece of trash storyline that we so often internalize without realizing it until we’re in our mid 30s and 40s taking counseling after drowning out our sorrows for the last 20-30yrs.
As humans, we simply want to survive.
Perfectionism is part of that equation. We were raised in a way that led us to believe “to be perfect, means greater chance at survival, respect, and appreciation from the tribe.” But in fact our reality as humans is that perfectionism is the impossibility in which we chase and then because of our imperfection, we allow ourselves to be slandered with distressful thoughts and feelings (often about ourselves) that hold us back from living our best lives possible.
Perhaps you were told you had to be the best athlete, the best runner, jumper, shooter, player on the team. Maybe you were expected to get straight As, or else you’d have things taken away from you. And for all I know, you could have been one of my best friends who gave up on themselves because the pressures of the world were too daunting and stressful, so they assumed a seat on the bench, instead choosing not to participate in the chaotic and incessant chase of perfectionism at all.
I’ve known many people to give up on themselves because of the lofty and weighty expectations placed on their shoulders by their family, their friends, and the culture all around them. It doesn’t matter where you grow up, we are all subject to some form of cultural and familial pressure throughout earliest stages of development and onward through adolescence.
So, let’s pause here to help us ponder – how we were made and by which standards we hold ourselves to, how these were formed, and perhaps how they may need to be reformed to help us find a healthier and more compassionate balance on our lives. Take some time to think about your childhood, your early life and how your mindset was shaped and how you learned (or were never shown) self-care, self-compassion, self-worth, self-respect, or how to pursue loving-kindness towards yourself.
And while I know these questions may not feel the boldest actions you could take for your own self-inquiry... they will undoubtably serve you in your life if you give yourself the time and meditation to learn more about yourself from the inside out.
Okay, so let’s assume we’ve all received some messages early in life we overlooked and misunderstood that led us to where we are today with the beliefs and norms we formed along the way to help us stay alive in our current environment – that’s reality. That’s the beautiful imperfect pursuit of happiness we can all find ourselves on, knowing we all come from different places but actually at the end of the day, we kind of all want the same thing (despite how much we may want to be different and unique to others).
And that’s pretty much also what I have in mind when I write these newsletters each week. You’ve heard me say it a time or two – we are better together than against. I’ve also talked about ways to support skin health and gut health, brain health and more. We’ve looked at taking care of the planet, taking care of our kids, and taking care of our minds too.
But, I truly believe we are better together in conversation than a monologue. While reading a book can reshape the way we think and believe and thus reform our thought and emotional patterns that lead to the actions we take and decisions we make… I’m not sure as much anymore that a weekly newsletter fulfills the desire I have to actually serve in all the many areas I care about – most notably this year – informed consent with human health, planetary health, (even though they are one in the same), emotional well-being and mental health, child development and kindness psychiatry.
That’s why I’m beginning to believe in myself more than I believe in myself. As hard as it is for me to say this… I stink at believing I can make a difference in this world.. which is crazy.. I know.. with as much as I love to preach to others about being able to do so themselves and the talks I give about the passions I have to serve in a big way. Like many entrepreneurs, I have imposter syndrome, I have fear of failing, and I have self-doubt. It hits me every single day – like a freight train, like a pounding migraine to the skull that makes it impossible to accomplish anything. I know, again, may sound crazy coming from me – Mr. “unrealistic optimism,” but it’s true. And I actually think that’s probably why I believe in what I do just so much.. because I know I desperately need to hang on to hope in order to stay alive and not be taken away by the raging tides of problems we see in most of our modern culture today.
But my recent jostling has helped. It has helped reinspire me to believe in myself more than I believe in myself. Like I actually have to put the stake in the ground 10ft ahead of me and imagine myself there when it comes to this kind of stuff. The old “fake it ‘til you make it clause” actually is quite helpful at times.
So, what’s to come of this, what’s changed and where are we headed together?
Well, for starters… as you may or may not recall – I quit my full-time dream job placement in July, the day of my birthday actually in order to pursue what I felt called to do more, that is… serve kids and families. Now, after a handful of applications and documents to be signed away… I have been substitute teaching at my local school system for just a few weeks.
Getting back to my foundations, the deepest earliest why for what I’m doing has been incredibly helpful, emotionally challenging for sure when you see kids in incredibly difficult settings and lives at home that you know could be better, when you wish you could help more, but know you can’t in your given position and situation. It helped me remember who I am at my core, who many loving people told me I could be when I was in school myself actually.
I quit a high paying career position with a company I love to take a random contract job as a substitute teacher for a local school system for a fraction… of a fraction… of a fraction of the salary I was lined up to make with the other job. Living in America where we so highly esteem career advancement and worship financial wealth, its safe to say I’ve felt a bit crazy at times having made these hard but purposeful decisions. You see, I have to believe money isn’t the purpose, but is is in fact a piece of the puzzle to help me get to the real purpose, which is impact for education, teaching, and helping equip and empower people to simply lead their lives to their best abilities to live and love their lives to the fullest.
I mean that. I really do. I know it sounds preachy, but it’s true.
While yes, I need money to keep my lights on and money to scale impact to serve others in meaningful ways, I don’t need lots of money to stifle or distract me from a different path I feel more led to take.
Ever since high school, I’ve held a vision for the life I planned to live, that incudes my values, my lifestyle, and the world of health and wellness I knew I needed to get involved in if I wanted to leverage what I had learned in a way to help others reclaim their health and their opportunity to live a beautiful life on this planet.
I still feel this calling, and I still strive to serve in this direction. That’s why I’ve had to make a recommitment of sorts to this truth because when it comes to matters that matter to me most… I’ve held myself back… I’ve walked away from what has felt hard or difficult or potentially hazardous to my image to speak on in public. I’ve questioned what comments, what hatred, what assumptions would be made about me if I lived more authentically and just was unapologetically open about serving with love and kindness at the root of all of what I do.
So that’s why when social media story from an old friend from high school came across my phone screen, and I just happened to see it (when I hadn’t checked in with this person in years) it left me with a vice grip on my heart and soul. As I watched and read, I grew increasingly aware of a deeper problem that was happening than what I realized in a space I actually do care about a LOT but never talk about due to fear of what other people closer to that experience might have to say or think about “me” speaking on their experiences and choices.
I realized that people deserve to know and apparently I actually can help people along their own personal journeys as they navigate these crazy waters. And while it was just a brief moment of an experience of sharing info and comments about a topic in women’s health and informed consent in medical health freedoms… it was a meaningful moment.
Likewise, I realize that my thoughts and comments about nutritional psychiatry, over medicating kids, and treating women as objects rather than beautiful creatures may not always be received in the best light… I need to still keep trying to serve. Despite having played the role of mole in the fun, kids arcade game “whack-a-mole” – I need to keep my head up and be on the lookout for ways to better serve my community as well as those who have yet to find someone to help start them on their journey towards lifestyle alignment and conscious improvement at all.
In a world where incessant unnecessary suffering exists pervasively, I had decided to stay silent because I was scared of what other people think, of what they might say.
But I’m happy (and nervous) to announce that things will slowly be shifting behind the scenes as I take incremental action towards serving in bigger and better ways to this community and also beyond this following of readers in this newsletter alone. I’m looking to host education, conversation, connection and personal growth in all areas of life and wellness and I hope you stay with us for the journey. I hope you feel free to open your mind, your heart, and also your hands to serve within your own sphere of influence this week and every week. And as I mentioned in a recent past week’s newsletter… do something strangely remarkable these days.. and smile a ridiculous amount with the full sun beaming on your face and serve with love and kindness in a radical way.
No longer shall we grow complacent and accept mediocrity from our modern-day expectations of society and the full human experience. No no, my friends… I am just super excited to bring you through into the next era of my life going forward in which I’m solely focusing on ways to scale, expand, and open my outreach to serve more and serve better.
YOU are the reason why I write and work daily. You are the inspiration for me to live a more authentic life and to see what I can do to help improve the lives of others if I just believe in myself more than I believe in myself.
This week, perhaps you can offer yourself the same thoughtful reflection… to ask the question, what if I extended the stakes of my commitment just 10 feet further than where I currently stand. What if I prioritized my life, my health, and my impact to serve others (in whatever form that may look like for you) even deeper and wiser than ever before?
Some of the Podcasts I’ve been listening to this week:
Podcast link - The honest realities of food, environment, politics, and money surrounding our obesity epidemic in the United States, and around the globe. Healthy Hormones for Women Podcast
Podcast link – The honest history of a daring Psychiatrist to swim against the tide and question everything – (ps. sometimes this guy gets pulled from websites online so let me know if this link doesn’t work!) Take Control of Your Health with Dr. Joseph Mercola
One of the Books I’m Currently Reading:
Ancient Remedies by Dr. Josh Axe – Book Link
If you like to hang out online, come find me and say hello! 😁
· Instagram 📸 🌱 🌶️
· Twitter 🐦 🐥
· LinkedIn 👔 👨⚕️ 💼
· Medium Writing Blog 📝 ✍️ I write more in-depth, thoughtful discussion articles over here if you want to check it out and follow along with more ideas around health, personal growth and more.
· Facebook 😼📚 Community = Common goals working in Unity
· Youtube 🎥 💡
If you missed last week’s edition you can check it out here:
