He said, "Never Compromise Your Values for Your Goals"
April 10, 2021
The Year Was 2018
I was sitting at the bar of a multi-million dollar beautifully brand new Hyatt Hotel in Orlando, Florida. ☀️
I was Zoom-fatigued before it became a thing, with a full day at one of my national conferences in nutrition and education I like to attend.
After a full day or high energy, excitement, and lots of listening, speaking, taking notes, I grabbed a fresh club soda with lemon from the bar. 🍋
Little did I know who I would find sitting beside me that afternoon…
“Never compromise your values for your goals.”
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The Questions We Ask 💭
You know, some of the most common questions we seem to ask ourselves as individuals we never seem to ask as a combined culture, nation, society, or within our industries.
We seem to separate out personal values from our business values (in general).
We look to provide value in our personal lives and then we remain solely focused on profit within industry and in business.
Why don’t we carry humanistic characteristic on our way to the top?
Where does empathy stop in the chain of command? 🤔 💭
The Strange Encounter With A Stranger
“Never compromise your values for your goals,” he said.
A middle-aged black man sat nearby at the bar.
Dark navy baseball with black leather jacket. Let’s call him George for anonymity.
“I wonder what his story is?” I thought.
Well, sure enough he was coming right over to me in a matter of seconds. Oh no, I wonder how this is going to go… he probably thinks I’m a teenager like everyone else I run into here.
In reality, he never asked me about my age, instead he asked me deeper questions:
Why was I here
What was my career
What was my goal in attending this conference
The brief interrogation transitioned to a swift lecture and mentoring opportunity for him, he just couldn’t pass up. Feeding some truth into this “young blood” sitting at the bar.
“Never compromise your values for your goals,” he said.
Such a noble thing to say.
The way he spoke reminded of a public speaking event, the intention in every word, the subtle pause and emphasis of our President Barack Obama at the time, or even some sprinkles of resemblance to the more projecting voice of Martin Luther King Jr.
At first, I thought he was drunk. I mean, he had obviously been drinking at the bar when I arrived but I wondered how “himself” he really was…
Either way, his composition didn’t change the impact and meaning of his words.
The moment stuck with me, struck me deep - especially since he said it a dozen times in a row and placed his hand on my shoulder looking me directly in the eye in the process.
He wanted it to stick. And stick it did.
Around 20 minutes later and a few more glasses of club soda and citrus, a powerful stepping woman comes to his side. Let’s call her Aubrey; Dr. Aubrey was acting President at the time.
“Ohh, I see you’ve met Jonathan already, hun?! How did you two find your ways here?”
This was the president of my organization who was now standing between me and my new friend George.
She had just introduced me to some of her colleagues a few hours ago as I nervously accepted a scholarship that helped fund my travel and attendance.
I would have never known I was talking to her husband, this same guy at the bar - he was the husband of my standing president at the bar that afternoon. Who’da thunk it!
I would have never guessed, and I bet you he would have never even told me, never even hinted at the fact.
He was just a normal guy. I mean, he wasn’t - but he intended to live his life as hisself.
A normal guy.
Same values. Same perspectives. Same disciplines.
No matter the royalty of his “first man” to the president status or the hierarchy of power he could have absorbed.
In the blink of an eye I went from thinking “who is this guy… and will he be upset when I intend to leave,” to “Wait! You mean you are Dr. Aubrey’s husband”
Beginning to realize what unexpected position I found myself in, I anxiously laughed it off, made some additional small talk and transitioned out by excusing myself so they could catch up and make their dinner arrangements they were briefly discussing together.
Walking away, I knew that moment would stick with me even more now. 😳
“Never compromise your values for your goals,” he said.
I think this is such a valuable lesson to really sit on. How many examples can we bring up where some big industry or individual decided to compromise their values for their goals.
It happens all the time, especially in pursuit of instant gratification, looking sooner than later, and pursuing profit over people.
Flint Michigan is just one example that comes to mind. I’m sure you can come up with a whole lot of your own as well.
It’s sad really, isn’t it.
I think so.
Your Values Are Your Guiding Compass
One thing ☝️ I hope I never do is compromise my values for my goals, and have always kept at the front of my focus.
But you know how impossible that really is when someone doesn’t even know their values? How on earth would they recognize that they’ve crossed some imaginative line, some unspoken rule, if they had no values to act as a healthy baseline for their decisions. Imagine just making decision after decision in pursuit of your goals without having clearly defined value systems leading your every step.
That’s a dangerous journey in my mind. 👇 What do you think? 👇
Your values are your guiding compass.
And luckily we all have noble sages, leaders and mentors, teachers and coaches, friends and accountability partners to help encourage and remind us of our values while we pursue our goals.
Our goals may change a lot, but our values probably will only become greater sculpted as we live our lives.
Looking for a goal setting journal? I just recently learned about this awesome journal and planner combo to help you design and accomplish your goals. 👏 👏
In the past, we’ve talked about values, about the importance of knowing your own values. So, now I want to check in with you again about your own value system.
Your values are your guiding compass, so what values do you let lead you and guide you in this journey of life?
Values with your family?
Values with your friends?
Values from your mentors?
Values at your workplace?
Values in your geo-political community?
Values from your faith?
Values from your lived experiences in childhood?
What else?
“What you value will be what you cherish, what you cherish will be what you plant and what you grow, it will inevitably lead you whoever you go.”
It remains incredibly important for us to acknowledge our values, to know, love, and trust in our values at all times, especially times where we feel pressed against a wall, backed into a corner.
Every new season brings new delight and new challenges. This is the ebb and flow of life and our values will continue to be our guiding compass leading our steps forward.
Share your values with us in our community Facebook group if you feel ambitious enough to do so. We’re all in this together, and you might be surprised what things we have in common and what things we agree on.
Stay Happy, Stay Healthy!
Jonathan ZaZa aka Jonathan Isbill